Happy Father’s Day to my Imaginary Dad

When I woke up this morning, I unwittingly checked my Facebook account and done several scrolling then I’ve realized it’s all about Father’s Day. I abruptly closed my Facebook. I’ve felt a pang of jealousy and suddenly longed for a Father to greet him Happy Father’s day, too. I haven’t seen my Father since I was born and I’m plainly baffled how it feels having a father by my side. I’m not sounding pathetic but occasionally I wonder how it feels.

There was no massive secret being an illegitimate child and it doesn’t affect me until I reached the age of 30. I’m eager to search for the missing piece – like there’s always something missing.


According to the book that I’ve read, a woman who grew up without a Father finds it strenuous to form lasting relationships. Because she was scarred by her Father’s rejection of her, she doesn’t want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, she avoid getting close to people. She struggles to form and build lasting relationships. She has that difficulty interacting with men because she was never thought how to be comfortable with them. Ironic.

The repercussion is that I tend to become humane and close to people who are showing regard because I’ve never experienced that. I became affectionate to people. All I can see is good about them and I assume they won’t do any harm to anyone.

Not having a Father by my side has advantages, too. I grew up independent, perceptive and determined person. I depend on my own capabilities because I always believe that’s the only choice I have. I was compelled to look steadfastly though it’s quite arduous.


Because you’re always looking for that love that’s missing you always think everyone has a good intention and ready to fill that emptiness in you. You learn subconsciously to accept less in relationships due to diminished self-esteem. You usually believe you must work for love or may not be worthy of it at all, and as a result, you go down the wrong path in love until you finally realize you’ve chosen the wrong person.

Although life has been hard and I have dealt with many issues as a result of my father’s absence, I feel that I am a strong woman because of it. I always think I don’t need a man in my life and I can live my life to the fullest without him. This experience taught me not to depend on a man. I struggle and strive hard to be a better person.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails – Dolly Parton

Sometimes we become bitter and irrational because of certain occurrences. But we need to remember there are things we cannot control. How we react or respond can change our lives. If you have the same story, always do your best and take the positive side. Aim high and reach for your dreams. There’s no reason to be forlorn. You are not alone. You are amazing, beautiful woman! Keep smiling.

Happy Father's Day


  1. I know this feeling too well. I lost my dad at age 16. After that, I had several ‘wrong’ relationships. But eventually, God smiled on me and showered me with abundant blessing. You can definitely adjust the sails. Just stay positive.

  2. Thanks so much for sharing 💕 I’m actually the opposite, my dad had 2 daughters before me that he abandoned before they were born. I didn’t find out until I was 12, and it changed my whole life and our relationship. Because he grew up in the mountains, he was abused as a kid, so I ended up being abused by him as well. I know this is heavy stuff, but I always wondered what my half sisters might have thought. I met both of them & we’ve all made amends, but we haven’t talked about anything deep like this. Thanks so much for sharing 💕

    1. Hi Alexis, thank you for sharing your story. It saddened me to hear that you were abused by your Dad. This is a different story. I hope you’re okay now with him and I’m glad you have amended things with your half sisters. You are amazing! All the best! 🙂

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